12/30/2008

BYOM

Yoda, Darth and a Shuffle by yinyang_flickr.com

Was with someone last night.
Very nice.
He was smart, fun and not bad-looking in a "nice Canadian boy" kind of way.
Complete opposite of Mr. X.
I mean, time just flew by and it was such a relief to be with someone who's easygoing.
This guy reminded me that not every man out there is a lame duck when it comes to women. For this, I say to him: Thank you.

Anyway, he and I were doing our thing in this middle-of-the-road hotel room, when from the TV's music station I hear these lyrics:
Cheeseburger in paradise
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
Not too particular not too precise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise

That song, in case you're wondering, is Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffett, a happy-go-lucky tune better suited for drowning a cold ale on a warm patio than for actually gettin' lucky.
As I quipped to the guy later "Nothin' says fuckin' like a cheeseburger in paradise." We laughed and laughed and laughed...

The point I'm making here is this: BYOM - or - Bring Your Own Music. If you're planning an intimate rendezvous away from home, don't forget the iPod. Hotel music selection isn't geared towards setting the right mood, so you may find that while in the middle of a passionate embrace, after you've been serenaded by a decent cover of You Are So Beautiful, along comes Jimmy in his white Bermuda shorts at the head of a conga line. Want in? No? Didn't think so.

Keep in mind, I'm counting on the fact that your idea of sexy music isn't 'Cheeseburger in Paradise'. If it is, well...try this on for size: Sex 'n' Luv

You're welcome ;)

12/29/2008

Nite.

Missed the Target...by malavoda_flickr.com

Nite.

That was Mr. X's last text to me last night.

No smiley emoticon or C u soon...

Just Nite.

I think it's safe to say he's done with me. And if that's the case - I'm 99% sure it is - well then, that was fast.

Dude didn't even make it out of base camp. He crawled outside of his tent, found it a little nippy, and then crawled back in.

Pathetic.

Problem was, he thought he could buy my time and affection with trinkets in lieu of cash.
Sorry, but the bank won't accept chocolates, incense sticks and $25 gift certificates when I go to pay my rent tomorrow.

And that dress? Fug. I'll never wear it, and nobody I know wants it.

These are the signs things weren't going to end well:
1. He bored the crap out of me.
2. I talked too much because of #1.
3. He creeped me out by staring too much and asking too many questions.
4. Too many gifts. Before we even met he was shopping like a madman.
5. Too many text messages. An entire week of messaging before our first meeting and countless more after that.
6. He was shorter than me - which doesn't bother every guy - but it bothered him.
7. He never complimented me on my outfits. Weird, because dammit, I looked good.
8. Absolutely no physical/mental chemistry between us.
9. I couldn't french kiss him. My tongue curled up at the back of my mouth like a drunk on a bar stool and refused to budge.
10. When he wasn't around, I kept thinking to myself: I can't stand this guy.
11. When he leaned in to kiss me good night, I instinctively gave him my cheek. Not good.

So, what I thought would be a defining chapter in my life has turned out to be nothing but a footnote. Epic Fail.

Part of me is relieved to know I don't have to spend time with someone I truly dislike, and the other part of me, the part that has to eat now and then, sleep in a warm bed and wear clothes, is in deep mourning.

Now I'm wondering, who the fuck's next?

12/27/2008

Mr. X

Tiger Dragon Yin Yang_babagene.net

This Simbol(Yin-Yang) represents the ancient Chinese understanding of how things work. The outer circle represents "everything", while the black and white shapes within the circle represent the interaction of two energies, called "yin" (black) and "yang" (white), which cause everything to happen. They are not completely black or white, just as things in life are not completely black or white, and they cannot exist without each other.

While "yin" would be dark, passive, downward, cold, contracting, and weak, "yang" would be bright, active, upward, hot, expanding, and strong. The shape of the yin and yang sections of the symbol, actually gives you a sense of the continual movement of these two energies, yin to yang and yang to yin, causing everything to happen: just as things expand and contract, and temperature changes from hot to cold. (fly.cc.fer.hr)

Service Worker dress_butikofer.com/store

Met someone recently. Let's call him "Mr. X". Only reason I mention it is because this pseudo-relationship could be significant. He's not my type, but in times of famine, who's the most attractive guy in the room? The one with the bread, that's who. If Mr. X behaves himself, he could be sticking around for a little while (a few months, that is) and he could potentially change my life for the better - and by better - I mean financially-speaking.

Some (ok, lots of) women get queasy at the notion of being with a man just for the opportunities he might bring her way. But name me one individual who's reached where they are today without the helping hand of another. You can't. Ok yes, I get it - there's the "ick" factor. You're required to be intimate with someone you're not attracted to. That's a tough one to deal with and probably why I'm still broke. However, I know I've certain skills with men which from time to time have served me well. And when it comes to paying the bills, you learn to get past the "ick" real fast.

Yesterday, Mr. X bought me a dress (pic above) from here. He didn't do too badly considering he's met me twice and doesn't know a thing about me except that he likes what he sees and I'm charming as hell. It's not my style, but in a pinch it could work as let's say...a church-going outfit? Did I mention he's religious? Well, he is. He goes to church every Sunday, and even though he isn't preaching to me (oh dear god, please don't let him start), he doesn't want me swearing in front of him. Not even "hell" is acceptable. Me, I've been to church service maybe three times in my entire life and had to struggle to stay awake. I think I'm a Baptist but I'm not absolutely sure. Needless to say, I have to suppress my rebel instincts around him. And by-the-by, how fitting is it that the dress is called "Service Worker"? I didn't notice that 'til now and I don't think he knew that when he bought it (it wasn't on the tags).

Now, the "success" of my relationship with Mr. X will depend almost entirely on how well I can convince him I'm just as much into him as he's into me. To put it mildly, he's not exactly the Yin to my Yang (or vice versa). I don't expect him to be, but unfortnately, that's what he expects from me. I gotta tell you, this shit ain't easy. Some women can pull it off and for that they should probably receive a medal - or at least write a book. For example, Wendy Deng and Rupert Murdoch. Can you imagine letting ol' Rupie eat you out every night? Does he take out his dentures first? Mr. X isn't Rupert Murdoch. He's no George Clooney, but then there can be only one George Clooney and the chances of meeting his real world twin are just about zip.

If things don't work out with Mr. X, I'll probably delete this entire post and never mention the matter again. You know, pretend it didn't happen? But if things do work out, you may be seeing me post pics from here in the not-so-distant future.

Uhhh...wish me luck?

Boxing Day

daylife.com

Eaton Centre_Dec. 24, 2008_flickr.com

Eaton Centre_Dec. 26, 2008_flickr.com

Shop! Damn it! It is Your Patriotic Duty!
The poster above says it all, doesn't it? I wonder, does anyone go shopping just to help out the economy? I doubt it. We don't shop to satisfy retailers - what a ridiculous notion. We shop because we need/want something, are bored/restless/gotta get out of the house or because we just don't feel "right" if we're not constantly replenishing our stash of shiny new things. Of course, when the money tree's bare, that puts a crimp in our plans, doesn't it?

I for one, am on a tight budget this holiday season - which is to say - I'm broke. There's really no point in spending what's left of my meager savings just because the sales are massive. Word is, retailers are soon going to be paying us to relieve them of their merch which is all fine and dandy, except I know by the time I'm ready to spend spend spend, there won't be the items I want available in my size or colour of choice. The other option is cyberspace retail but I've yet to pop my online cherry. Maybe 09's the year to start? I dunno. I've got to touch and try on something before I buy it - especially shoes. And I don't want to wait for its delivery either.

Couple years ago, I had the misfortune of stopping by the Eaton Centre on Boxing Day - I really don't remember what I needed so badly it couldn't wait another day. Never again. The crush of people, the warm, stuffy odours of B.O. and musty jackets...not my idea of a good time. Couldn't wait to get outta there. I don't even think everyone was there to shop/return stuff. I think some people went just to be part of a large, shuffling crowd. Maybe it beat the hell out of sitting at home, watching TV and listening to the in-laws yack all day long? I bet you yesterday, somewhere in the Eaton Centre, a frustrated relative bought a cone/box of fries/soda for another frustrated relative, shoved it into their grubby hands and thought: Now STFU!

12/25/2008

Happy Holidays!

Dammit! Are you messing with me?!?

Xmas Displays

Cosmetics store - Hazelton Lanes

Manulife Centre

William Ashley

BCBGMaxAzria

Eitelbach - Manulife Centre

Marciano

Whole Foods

Holt Renfrew

De Catarina - Manulife Centre

Escada

Manulife Centre

Le Chateau

Tiffany

Tree in front of William Ashley

That pretty tree

Carpet of lights above Harry Rosen

H&M

Louis Vuitton

Zara - yeah, the dresses were fug

Zara

More Xmas windows here.

12/20/2008

Holiday Faves

Sparkler Christmas Tree_reuters.com

Christmas tree_Istanbul_daylife.com

Dots gift bag_$5.00_elumdesigns.com

Drift Wood gift bag_$5.00_elumdesigns.com

Doodle Art gift paper_$3.75/sheet_elumdesigns.com

Rococo - Black gift paper_$3.75/sheet_elumdesigns.com

Holiday Rococo gift paper_$3.75/sheet_Elum

*Hallelujah Chorus*

*O Come, O Come Emmanuel*

Mallet of Luck paper model_by craft pocket

Chinese Dragon paper model_by craft pocket

Carousel paper model_by craft pocket_Canon Creative Park

*Paper Modelz*

Alfie Kat_22.99 pnds_fully jointed_Raggy Dolls

*Carol of the Bells*

Lithographed tin spinning top_by Ohio Art_$20.00_Ruby Lane

*Old Toy Trains*

*Toy Trains*

Moby rattle_$14.00_by Haba Clutching Toys_solvent-free lacquers_Wind Up Here

*O Holy Night*

Cavalcade of Lights_Toronto City Hall_[daily dose of imagery]

*Panoramaist: Cavalcade of Lights*

City Hall front door by nantel_Montreal_flickr.com

Scrooooge! front door_istockphoto.com

Exploding Wreath_fotosearch.com

Dried Wreath_drdelphinium.com

Christmas Wreaths_lotusartstudio.com

Playmobil Nativity Set_toysrus.com

Their names were Caspar, Balthazar and, erm.

One child in ten does not know the Nativity story, a survey has found. Do you? We took to the streets in London, Liverpool and Glasgow to ask Britons about the Virgin Birth, King Herod and the three wise men

Baron Phillip, 40, Risk management consultant, southeast London

Right, there's Mary, immaculate conception and all that. She and her husband Joseph were travelling to Bethlehem. No idea why. There's a donkey in there somewhere. They have the baby in a barn and lay him in a manger. The three wise men use the star in the sky as a signpost to find them. Possibly some shepherds in there as well? There's always a lamb involved. That's it as far as I can remember. It all ends with the birth for me. I'm trying to think of all the carols. Was there a king beheading young boys? That's probably what Mary and Joseph were trying to get away from in the first place. They were on the run.

*Their Names...*

Abraham and Three Angels_click to enlarge_christusrex.org

Angels in America poster_images.google.com

Demon bursting angel-blown bubbles_Angels and Demons

*Ten Bible Passages About Christmas*

Black and Silver Christmas Wreath_handmade Christmas cards_Lotus Art Studio

*Fave Holiday Drinks*

Saks Fifth Avenue window by tixgirl_flickr.com

Saks Fifth Avenue window by tixgirl_flickr.com

*The Twelve Days of Christmas at Meadowood Napa Valley*

Fortnum & Mason window_dailymail.co.uk

Cartier_New York_images.google.com

*Grown-Up Christmas List*

St. Bridget's Church by mudpig_flickr.com

Spilling over... by Trapac_flickr.com

EASY MINCEMEAT DANISH

Ingredients

4 sheets butter puff pastry
1 egg yolk, beaten
200g mincemeat
5 tbs icing sugar, sifted
2 tsp lemon juice

Method

Preheat the oven to 200°C.
Defrost the pastry and cut into shapes using a Christmas cutter (we used a 10cm star cutter). Lay the pastry shapes on a large baking tray lined with baking paper. Prick with a fork, brush with egg and place 1 1/2 tsp mincemeat in the centre of each. Bake for 10-12 minutes until golden, then set on a rack to cool.
Mix the icing sugar and lemon juice together to make a very soft icing (add a few drops of water if necessary). Drizzle the icing over the pastries in a zig-zag pattern. (To do this is, put the icing in a small plastic bag and snip a corner off.)